In my Sociology of Religion class we are watching the film called Jesus Camp. It is highly disturbing. It's all about extreme, evangelical Christians, and if I were not a Christian, it would literally scare me to death. But because I am, it only makes me angry....and sad. It makes me angry because I can't believe people can be so ignorant. I can't believe that people are so extreme and so close-minded. It makes me sad because these children, these beautiful children, are being raised in homes and socialized into these roles. They are learning about the fury and judgment of God. They are being chastised for wanting to read Harry Potter, for dancing "from the flesh," for thinking global warming is real, for not witnessing to their friends enough. These kids are walking on egg-shells. What makes me most sad is that they may never know the unbelievable depths of God's love and mercy. Their religion is not freeing them...it's putting them in further bondage. No wonder the world hates Christians.
It makes me sad to think that people don't know what it's like to be loved by the God of the universe. They don't know about the Jesus who hung out with prostitutes and tax-collectors and fishermen. They don't know the Jesus who loves...and they're slapping his name on their own messed up beliefs and politics.
Yesterday I went to church and sat in the back row, not expecting to really worship. I actually just went to pay my tithe if I'm being honest. But unexpectedly, I was moved to tears during this song:
Revelation Song
The words of that song are incredible.
The message was about the word "disciple." It was brilliant. It spoke to me right where I am, especially one part of his message that said something like, "Discipleship is not just a program, it's a life-long commitment." This spoke to me because I've been thinking how much I want to go back to DFocus...how much I want to be in a community of people who love God and who are searching and who are open to one another. And it's like God was trying to say to me in that message that my whole life should be about discipleship. I should crave and be in community with people who love God all the time. Now I get it. In a way, it's what Dennis and Shanna at DFocus were trying to get across to us all along...life goes on. But so should discipleship.
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On a way different note...
Lately I've been longing for a boyfriend...I mean more than I usually do. It's really weird. I've gone for over a year now being single and not even going on a date with someone, and I really miss it. I honestly miss it. I mean, I know I can't snap my fingers and make the man of my dreams stand before me, but if I did...he would be the coolest guy ever. He would have red hair, an awesome laugh, and a craving for adventure. Oh yeah.
All sorts of things go through your head when you've been single for a while, like "Am I just not pretty enough?" "Am I cold or unapproachable?" "Am I not fun enough?" "Do I smell?" Maybe so. OR just maybe I'm finally right where I need to be, with my life in order and my priorities in the right place. Maybe it's because I'm not settling for anything less than love. And maybe that means I'm gonna have to wait a while.
The best part is, when I do finally meet him, he's probably going to be different from anything I've ever expected...and those people are always the best kinds of people.
yeah thats the crazy thing about christianity though. just the simple fact that it's like an "umbrella" term, covering many different views under one word, which we all deal with. for example, look at the different sects of christianity, such as methodist, baptist, cog, coc, etc. every one of them is in agreement on christ, but with many different views.
ReplyDeleteit's becoming spring, and everybody is feeling like they want somebody. i dont know if it is all the wedding planning going on or what. but it's perfectly natural.
you will figure out who he is in god's timing. no doubt!
cheers!